1. Did you hear about the DJ who did too much acid?
2. Why was Carrot Top Laughing all the way to the Bank?
3. How did the chocolate bar get to New York?
4. How did Wang Lung fertilize his lawn?
5. What happened after the Pirate said 'Arghhh!' ?
6. If the revolutionary war was fought tomorrow, who would win?
7. What is Corky's new band called?
8. What's funnier than corn?
9. What type of corn does my dog eat?
10. What do unicorns eat?
11. What does X say when Z is acting annoying?
12. What's the matter with my eye?
13. How do shoes fight each other?
14. What is Grue's favorite line at Sci-Fi Conventions?
15. Why was the frog wearing a wig?
16. Why does the guy at the bike shop have such a good voice?
17. What's better than an hour with a hooker?
18. What did the cup say to the teapot?
19. Why did Ben Stiller cross the road?
20. Why did Sarah McLachlan quit doing the Lillith Fair?
21. Why didn't William Faulkner use periods in a lot of his novels?
22. What is a William Faulkner joke?
23. Why did the German cross the road?
24. What's the difference between a Snickers candy bar and a Butterfinger candy bar?
25. Does Gwen Stefani have any STD's?
26. What do you get when you throw a hand grenade in France into the kitchen?
27. Two atoms were walking down the street and one said to the other, "I just lost an electron." When the second asked, "Are you sure?" What did the first say back?
28. What did Ben Franklin and Suleyman II have in common?
29. What smells worse than a frenchman eating onions?
30. What type of kittens do you throw in the trash?
31. What is funnier than the humor publication the Onion?
32. Why wasn't America sad about loosing the world cup?
33. What do you call it when you throw kittens out the window of a moving car?
34. What is larger than a bean?
35. Why was Stalin on the toilet all day?
36. Who is the leader of the Turd-Nazis?
37. Why did my dog eat the turd?
38. What is funnier than the Kids in the Hall?
39. Why did Lemmy of Motorhead run away from Geddy Lee?
40. What do you call Geddy Lee if he is playing a p-bass?
41. How come the waitresses at Hooper never get crabs?
42. What did the keyboard say to the mouse?
43. What did L.Ron say to his CM?
44. Did you know that England is better than America?
45. Why did Madonna shave her legs?
46. What did Deep Blue say to Kasparov?
47. Where'd you get that acid?
48. Did you hear that Sir-Mix-A-Lot has turned to male prostitution?
49. What do you call a sexy grandmother with a bucket full of potatoes?
50. Why did Neil object to Geddy's opinion?
51. What did one saggy boob say to the other?
52. What happened to the Grateful Dead fan who fell in the lava?
53. Why did the chicken cross the Rt. 13 bypass?
54. Why did the chicken cross river?
55. Why did the chicken cross the parking lot?
56. Whatever happened to EMF?
57. What did Stewart Copeland say to Andy Somers?
58. What's better than a barrel full of money?
59. What did Thom Yorke say to Bjork?
60. Did you hear that Geddy Lee has a bass shaped like his nose?
61. What's the best part about a pointy head?
62. What did the fern say to the housefly?
63. What did the fern say to the housefly?
64. Where's the beef?
65. What do you call a drunken, angry trucker?
66. George Bush and Osama Bin Laden walked into a bar.
67. What's funnier than Whoopi Goldberg?
68. How did Dick tell Sally to get to Stonehenge?
69. How did the pimp tend to his garden?
70. What is long brown and tapered at the end?
71. Why did the eyeball eat the car?
72. What sometimes gets wet and has hair?
73. What doesn't my dog's nose smell?
74. Why did the chicken cross the road?
75. Why did the clown get kicked out of Denny's?
76. Why did the phone take his shirt to the dry cleaner?
77. How did the word pay for his new lawnmower?
78. What's red, white and blue, and flies over the Capitol building?
79. What do you call a holiday with teeth?
80. If a Republican was reincarnated, what would he come back as?
81. If a rat was reincarnated, what would it come back as?
82. How did Jesus feel after he got off the cross?
83. Why did the Democrats loose the election?
84. Why do hackers stink?
85. What is worth a lot of money?
86. How does Princess Toadstool like it?
87. What type of fingers does a halibut have?
88. What type of shoes did Bach wear?
89. Who is the most notorious dog gangster of all time?
90. Why was Geddy Lee's hair dirty?
91. What did the Elephant say to the Hamster?
92. What did Geddy Lee do when he forgot to read Tom Sawyer for English class?
93. Why does Samus Aran never sit down?
94. What first lady uses bikini wax?
95. A blizzard was gonna hit Salisbury the other day, but it didn't.
96. After hearing about the affair between Mario and Zelda, what did the Mushroom Kingdom want?
97. Why did they put Batman in the nuthouse?
98. What does a stoned high school student say when he is pondering the metaphysics of the universe?
99. What did Geddy Lee's dog do when Rt. 50 was closed due to snow?
100. Why did Geddy Lee call the psychic hotline?
101. If you are alone watching Home Alone, what are you?
102. How much cereal does King Vitamin eat a day?
103. What is the name of Geddy Lee's new porno?
104. What did the morgue magician say?
105. Why didn't the Dukes of Hazard put a sound system in the Geddy Lee?
106. What was Geddy Lee's nickname in special ed?
107. What does fake soap do when it sits on the toilet?
108. What did the critics do when they heard 'Hold Your Fire?'
109. Why did Abraham Lincoln eat the burrito?
110. Why was Cory late to practice?
111. What rock star isn't a supporter of Viagra?
112. If Demi Moore sings on Rush's next album, what will the album be called?
113. What do muggers drink their coffee out of?
114. Name a bass that Geddy Lee will never play in concert.
115. What does a stupid high-school student say?
116. What type of cereal do Irish people eat?
117. How does Count Dracula like his stake?

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